This one’s going a bit deeper. I exaggerate a bit, but I hope you can relate to this concept.
Sorry if my slow soothing voice makes you sleepy – I’m pretty tired in this video because I’ve been working so hard on making videos for the course. I really want to get this knowledge out there. I’ll be opening the course very very very soon and I’m very happy to be able to offer this to so many people.
Recap: Fetishes form as a way to deal with deep-rooted emotions. This fetish is all about inadequacy. The cuckold fetish involves watching your wife having sex with another man. This obviously incites feelings of inadequacy, because cheating is a painful concept. The man is usually muscular, well endowed, or otherwise good sexually, which obviously increases the sense of inadequacy. And, it’s important that the girl LOVES it, because that’s what creates the sense of inadequacy! Occasionally there is humiliation, or something else which creates more feelings of inadequacy. This is exactly why it’s arousing. When you already have a deep-rooted sense of inadequacy, all of this is too painful to deal with, so the brain turns it into pleasure as a weird way to cope with it. This is all based on the initial video.
The shortened summary is that you have this fetish because you have a subconscious sense of inadequacy. If you don’t want to have this fetish any more, you need to heal this subconscious inadequacy. One way to do that is to examine the ways that it affects your life. Disconnection (the subject of this video) is one of them. By healing the disconnection, you take one step towards healing subconscious inadequacy, and removing your attraction to cuckolding.
The most annoying thing about this is that it’s got nothing to do with how inadequate you really are – it’s a subconscious perception. Maybe you’re not inadequate in the slightest. It doesn’t matter. It’s subconscious.
So, our subconscious will drive us to do everything we can to stop people from seeing our true selves. If we believe we’re inadequate, we want to hide that! Our greatest fear is exposure. We won’t let people get too close to us. We’ll always stay slightly distant, and keep everyone at arms length. Perhaps we’ll use things like humour/ sarcasm/ addictions/ work to keep people from getting too close. This is because of this subconscious perception that we’re inadequate, and the compulsion to stop people from seeing that.
Furthermore, because we believe our true selves aren’t good enough, we won’t really be ourselves in social situations. We’ll be something else – usually something that we’ve learned is ‘good’, like being nice, or funny, or clever, or charming, or sensitive, or gentle, or feminine, or cool, or masculine etc. You get the point.
Inadequacy has a large social element to it. Friends are very important – we get social validation from them, which helps us feel good enough about ourselves. Just by being with friends, we get a sense that we are OK just as we are. If you don’t have many friends or much of a social life, then that will lead to a perception of inadequacy, because you’re not getting social validation, so your subconscious worries that you’re not good enough.
When you do have friends, you can still feel inadequate if you’re not being yourself. Because then, you’re still not getting social validation, only your false self is. That’s the same as not having any friends at all. The real ‘you’ cannot get validation if you hide it or try to be different. So, this leads to a greater sense of inadequacy – if you’re not being yourself, then you’re not getting any social validation either. And then your subconscious worries that you’re not good enough.
Unfortunately, this is something that EVERYONE goes through to some degree. We all want to seem ‘good’. It’s natural. So it’s very rare to come across someone that’s truly 100% being themselves. In the video I think I exaggerate the symptoms a bit so you can understand it, but it doesn’t have to be that major.
Now, if you already have a sense of inadequacy, you really really don’t want to be yourself, because you perceive that that’s not good enough. You’ll present a different image to the world. Which means that you won’t get social validation, and the inadequacy will strengthen.
A sense of inadequacy leads to not being able to be fully yourself. Which strengthens the inadequacy.
It’s horrible. And if it gets out of control it ends up in anxiety and depression.
More importantly, inadequacy is the core of this fetish, and that’s how inadequacy can be prevented from all healing; by not getting social validation.
Here’s what’s worse: the subconscious doesn’t just want to hide your perceived inadequacy from other people. It wants to hide it from yourself too. Because for you to think about possibly being inadequate is painful. So we become disconnected from ourselves.
So, connect with yourself. The easiest way to do that is to connect with your needs. Spend time on yourself, giving yourself what you need. This will help to heal disconnection. Take some time out to focus on YOU. Don’t be afraid of strategic selfishness! It’s ok to spend time giving yourself what you need.
And be open and honest in social situations. Honesty is hard when you have subconscious inadequacy, but you can try. From now on, make a decision not to keep people at arms length. Let them in. Let them get close to you.
You’re also likely to be disconnected from your true feelings and emotions, but that’s a whole other video…
I know this video is complex and hard to follow, and it’s so deep into this area that you might forget about how this relates to the cuckold fetish! Well, in these little free videos I can only explain so much…
I’m releasing an online course VERY soon to explain absolutely everything. In these free videos, I only talk about the little things that i think can help you without the background knowledge and build-up, but obviously, that’s not very much. The course is going to be a step-by-step guide through this whole process from start to finish. Most of that is about the subconscious and inadequacy, because that’s the root cause. I’m happy that i’m finally able to release this to the public – it will be launching in the next few days!! I’m going to give a discount voucher to the first 500 people to buy it, in order to kick start this process, so make sure you’re ready!