The Link Between Cuckolding and Interracial

Cuckolding frequently features an interracial aspect. But why?

Another common question people have: Is it racist?

No, it’s not necessarily racist, although that may be true for racist people. It actually doesn’t always involve black men; many Asian men report interracial fantasies between a white man and an Asian girl. And of course, there are black men with cuckold fetishes too! The interracial element actually defies race, and that’s why the explanations involving stereotypes of black men are limited. Sometimes it’s seen as a taboo, which can be a turn-on in itself, but here’s a quick explanation of the main reasons.

In this article we’ll assume we’re talking about black-on-white interracial for simplicity (sorry everyone else – but it doesn’t matter, the principles are the same)


Cuckolding becomes arousing when the brain turns hurtful emotions into sexual pleasure.

Just like other fetishes, deep-rooted feelings and fears get sexualized as the brain’s weird attempt to deal with them. This is how fetishes form. Check here if you’ve not heard me talk about that before, because this is a key point.

With cuckolding, it revolves around inadequacy, shame, inferiority, and similar hurtful emotions. The cuckold fetish forms as a way to sexualize these deep-rooted feelings of not being good enough. There are many ways to do this – cuckolding is just one (Female domination and humiliation are other ones, and there are many more).

KEY POINT: The more feelings of inadequacy that are induced, the more arousing the situation becomes.

Here’s an example. What’s more arousing to someone with a cuckold fetish:

1. A wife has sex with another man. He’s got a fairly small penis, he’s clearly not very good in bed, he’s a bit needy and not very attractive. She fakes her orgasm to get it over with.


2. A wife has sex with another man. He’s got a huge penis, ripped body, and knows what he wants. He dominates her, and she loves it. She turns into a slut for him, and not you. She can’t contain her moans.

Both of these technically count as cuckolding. But of course the second one is more arousing to anyone with a cuckold fetish. Why?

Because it creates a greater feeling of inadequacy.

The fetish revolves around the concept of turning inadequacy into sexual pleasure. The more inadequacy they can create, the more pleasurable it is.

That’s why cuckold porn can frequently stray into humiliating/degrading territories. The more they can create a sense of inadequacy in the viewer, the more arousing it becomes. There’s a limit for each person as to what they’re willing to tolerate, so it’s not never-ending, but the basic concept is the more inadequacy the better.

Adding an interracial element can be another way to introduce further feelings of inadequacy, and therefore make it more arousing. So, where does this sense of inadequacy come from in the interracial aspect?

Inadequacy Through Being Unattainable

If you’re a white man, then seeing a woman become attracted to a black man is almost hurtful because it is something that you will never be, and can never get. You can never change to become that, it is something that you will never be and are not able to ever be. It is a competition that you can’t even compete in; you are an automatic loser, simply by being different.

You are of a different race, which is something you can never change, and seeing her be attracted to a different race is a form of attraction that does not include you. Not only are you are not included in that attraction, but you never will be. By being significantly different, and unattainably so, it can create a sense of inadequacy.

There is a long history of interracial relationships being seen as ‘taboo’ and shamed. Even now, there are people who get extremely hurt by the topic. This is because it really does hurt! It creates feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and exclusion. It makes you feel left out, unwanted, like you can never be good enough for that, just as you are. Some people deal with these feelings with shaming and hostility, as in history. Most people deal with these feelings in a normal healthy way, and don’t get bothered by it.

For a few people, their brains eroticize those feelings, and it becomes pleasurable.  That’s the main reason why cuckold porn frequently includes an interracial element.

The feeling of being different and excluded is the feeling of inadequacy. 

It’s not necessarily about the perceived sexual superiority of different races, as many people mistakenly suggest, it’s about the unchangeable difference. Given that interracial sex does not have to involve black men, or any one race in particular, but always a different race, the only way that it can be arousing is if the difference itself is what’s arousing, not any specific stereotypes or racist perceptions about black people.

But this is not the only element of inadequacy in the interracial element. Some explanations involve stereotypes and prejudice, and although they won’t be present in the majority, they’re not insignificant. Racist people will feel more inadequate through stereotypes, but even in non-racist people, they draw on universal principles which are still true regardless of race. Let’s explore the others.

Sexual Inadequacy

On a very simple level, racist people may feel a sense of inadequacy relating specifically to penis size, taking the popular stereotype that black men have bigger penises. This is very basic – seeing the woman be satisfied with a big penis creates insecurity to eroticize. Of course, this can happen with any race too, but racist people would feel it through stereotypes whether it’s present or not. It’s safe to say that a black man with a tiny penis is less arousing; it doesn’t incite as much inadequacy to turn into sexual pleasure.

Some cuckold porn includes an element of humiliation over having a smaller penis, or some form of that. This is probably the #1 most popular insecurity for all men, so it makes sense why it would be arousing to see a woman be satisfied by a bigger penis – it triggers a painful sense of inadequacy, which is turned into sexual pleasure. Stereotypes would link this with race, but even in people who aren’t racist, the same principle is true whether they’re black or white. 

Secondly, there can be an even greater sense of inadequacy if the man is in touch with his deep, primal, sexual instincts. If he ravishes the woman on a deep, primal, instinctual, animalistic level, satisfying her deeply, this creates inadequacy and a sense of sexual inferiority. It’s only a turn on if she LOVES it – that’s where the inadequacy lies. If she’s not satisfied by the bull, it doesn’t create much of a sense of inadequacy, so it’s not much of a turn-on.

Racist people could automatically assume these characteristics are present in all black men, even when they’re not, and so for them this is one way in which the interracial element can induce inadequacy. But racism aside, these characteristics would be arousing regardless of skin color, as they create a sense of inadequacy. Similarly, an obese black man is much less arousing than a muscular black man – it’s the inadequacy that they create that’s the source of the pleasure.

Of course, when interracial sex does not involve black-on-white but rather white-on-Asian or any different racial combination, different racist perceptions can still apply to that race too. However, in most people, it is not stereotypes which create inadequacy, but rather the attraction to a different race.

In summary, interracial sex can create a sense of inadequacy by being unattainably different, but also by potentially drawing on stereotypes which increase the sense of inadequacy, insecurity, and inferiority.

Aside from the interracial element, let’s look at some other ways that the cuckold fetish can increase the sense of inadequacy.

Partner/Provider Inadequacy

Sometimes, the ‘bull’ in cuckold porn can be someone’s boss. This isn’t so common but it’s an interesting point to make: it’s still the eroticization of inadequacy. This time though, it’s getting off on the thought that the girl wants to have sex with a guy that’s got a lot of money, power or status, so the insecurity is related more to that than to things like penis size. It’s eroticizing non-sexual inadequacy.

Most of the time the bull is simply someone who’s high up on the dominance hierarchy, as that’s where our most deep-rooted perception of inadequacy lies. One of our basic drives is to attempt to climb this social hierarchy in order to have the best possible chance of finding a mate. It’s our most deeply ingrained idea of whether we’re good enough or not. So someone who appears to be higher up on the dominance hierarchy can create in us a greater sense of inadequacy at a very deep level.

Monogamous Inadequacy

The last point I want to make with this is that sometimes people like when the girl just acts like a complete ‘slut’. That’s still the eroticization of inadequacy. The sense of inadequacy here comes from thinking that she would give in to her sexual urges at the sacrifice of her relationship. It’s thinking that deep down, she wants sex more than her monogamous relationship. It’s assuming that one man is not enough to fulfil a woman’s sexual needs – AKA you can never be good enough, no matter how hard you try. It’s thinking that she has sexual urges for more than you, and you cannot fulfil those urges.


With the cuckold fetish, inciting a greater sense of inadequacy leads to greater pleasure, as the cuckold fetish forms by turning subconscious inadequacy into sexual pleasure. The more inadequacy, the better.

There are so many ways to create a sense of inadequacy. An interracial element is just one, which is about inciting inadequacy by being unattainably different. Other optional aspects of the fetish can create inadequacy through different means, such as sexual inadequacy.

If you were to heal these deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy, there would be nothing left to sexualize, and the cuckold fetish would stop being arousing. This is why only some people have a cuckold fetish, despite the fact that everyone feels inadequate at some point; only a select few have a deep-rooted subconscious fear/sense of inadequacy (which is usually initially formed in early childhood). If you want to get over this sense of inadequacy and remove your attraction to this fetish, make sure you’re signed up to my mailing list.

By Connor McGonigal

The Link Between Cuckolding and Interracial. Article Date: April 2018

Further Reading:

Can Fetishes Even Be Changed?

Can Porn Cause A Cuckold Fetish?

False Fetish Theories (rant)


Porn Addiction

How To Change Any Fetish

Symptoms of Subconscious Inadequacy

What’s Wrong With Having A Fetish?

Why Is A Taboo A Turn-on?